Posts Tagged ‘sex


Captain & Tennille “Love Will Keep Us Together”

I was kind of excited to put this one on, as I’ve never been able to bring myself to pick it up at a thrift store because of the bludgeoning familiarity of that title song, and the hideous cover—which is actually a pretty great album cover with beautiful dogs, one of whose head is bigger than Toni Tennille’s. And her teeth (TT’s, not the dog) are amazing and not airbrushed looking. The Captain is wearing some horrible sunglasses and an expression that looks like he’s barely able to hold back from punching the photographer. Tennille is actually wearing bib overalls, and a shirt that looks like it was sewn from someone’s kitchen curtains.

I did not realize that Neil Sedaka and Howard Greenfield wrote the title song, which had to be one of the biggest songs of the year (1975), and it’s a good enough song, I guess, that I get some genuine nostalgia from it. It’s interesting, it seems like their official name is “Captain & Tennille”—though he’s known as “The Captain”—and also, his real name is Daryl Dragon. If your name was Daryl Dragon—if you were that lucky—wouldn’t you go by Daryl Dragon, and not some cheesy stage name like “The Captain?” (Though the captain’s hat is a nice touch, for anyone.)

Tennille and Dragon wrote a few of the songs, together, and separately, and there are also some Beach Boys present (a nice cover of “God Only Knows”), and Bruce Johnston’s “I Write The Songs”—which was a monster hit for Barry Manilow—and so bland that I never really thought about it—but hearing Tennille sing it kind of highlights the lyrics, since it’s obviously written from the point of view of a man, who claims to now be “very old,” and maybe even God—I mean, it’s supposed to be metaphorical, right? He wasn’t really writing a song, as God, I don’t think? It does say, “I am music, and I write the songs”—but if “music” wrote the first song, who wrote music? (If God is all-powerful, can He make a rock so heavy that even He Himself cannot lift it?)

Most of the record is, unfortunately, fairly forgettable, and I’ll probably not be compelled to pick up a copy. If you never have to hear the song “Broddy Bounce,” consider yourself lucky—I thought the room had been invaded by animated trolls. And “Disney Girls” isn’t much better. For me, the real standout on the record is “The Way I Want To Touch You,”—written by Toni Tennille—I mean, it’s kind of sexy, even, if kind of dumb, but has that really killer chorus, “you are sunshine, you are shadow” etc. That takes me right back to somewhere. I don’t know where exactly, but I was maybe drinking grape Kool-Aid, or eating Lucky Charms (saving the marshmallows for last), newly in love, and there was an AM radio playing.


Jeff Beck Group “Rough and Ready”

Did Helen Reddy ever put out an album with the title “Rough and Ready”? Or “Rough and Reddy”? I’d pay good money for that one! About 49 cents (and then only if it had a picture of a clown on the cover– for which I have a particular weakness).

This is the third Jeff Beck Group record, from 1971, and it sounds worlds away from the first record– which partly has to do with it being a completely different band. The only surviving member is… you guessed it. The sound is somehow really contemporary, like this could have come out in 2008– and at the same time sounds like it was dated even in 1971. The singer makes you REALLY MISS Rod Stewart, who, I understand, was in the hospital at the time this record was recorded, having his stomach pumped as the result of having spent too much time with excessive noodlers. Jeff Beck’s guitar playing has also evolved. Where he used to play 10 notes where one would do, he now gets by with 47. I have to admit that my copy here is in really bad shape, but I can tell that these cats are working overtime to remove the soulfulness from R&B.

The cover is remarkable, with five black and white photographs that reveal every bump, pore, and blemish on the faces of these guys, who could easily have been known as Jeff Beck and his band of lycanthropes. It is refreshing to see that they didn’t let airbrushes, makeup, or even shaving cream or razors anywhere near the photo session. The funniest thing is that while you’re listening to this virtual sex on vinyl, and your album cover is leaning up against the stereo or beanbag chair, these five guys are staring at you rather creepily. So you turn the cover around, and viola!– on the back cover: the SAME FIVE PHOTOGRAPHS! Either someone was really lazy or had a really warped sense of humor.

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