The Woody Herman Band “Chick, Donald, Walter & Woodrow”

Big band leader Woody Herman made records from the Thirties to the Eighties, and though he’s as household of a name as Frigidaire, I’ve heard very few of them on my record player. This is one of many, but to me an exciting oddity because Side 2 consists of five Steely Dan songs: “Green Earrings,” “Kid Charlemagne,” “I Got the News,” “Aja,” and “FM.” But first—Side 1 is called “Suite for a Hot Band” and is composed and arranged by Chick Corea. It’s a long piece with “movements”—it’s hot, though I haven’t listened to it endlessly or anything. In the “Second Movement” there is even an odd vocal part, which sounds like either a guy who can’t sing, or some kind of rarified jazz singing I’m not hip to. (It’s Woody Herman.) I like it. Side 2, then, is all Steely Dan (Donald Fagen and Walter Becker being the other first names in the album title). Kind of a subtle tip-off—but much nicer than a record called, say, Woody Herman Plays the Sizzling Hits of Chick Corea & Steely Dan. The cover offers no real clue to the vinyl inside, either; in fact I might have seen this for years and never picked it up since it’s frankly kind of hideous. It’s an airbrush composition of some kind of car—a convertible, with a Fifties winged look—floating on an endless, global “Waterworld” sea (the curve of the horizon is prominent). Or it could be in the clouds, I don’t know. Anyway, the barely visible passengers are four penguins. I suppose meant to represent out heroes—but penguins?

I was only aware of this record because my friend Doug, knowing I’m a huge Steely Dan fan, gave it to me. It’s the first record I have with any cover versions of SD songs—and though I know there must be tons out there—I’ve heard very few. These five hot tunes do them justice. Oddly my favorite, here—since it’s a SD song I’m not crazy about—is “FM.” There’s a flute part that really works. You can find most of these on YouTube if you want to hear them, I’d recommend it—and there is a bonus—you can also find the version of “Deacon Blues” that was left off this record—for no reason I can tell—it’s very good. Full musician credits on the back of the album cover, which is cool—and Steely Dan regular Victor Feldman is heavily involved. Also, there are liner notes: Chick Corea’s jotted seemingly at gunpoint, but Woody Herman’s is nice, informational, and heartfelt. But then Becker and Fagen go and write what seems like a “short story”—ha! (I always say, if someone gives you a chance to write something that’s going to undergo some kind of printing-press treatment, be it a cereal box, doctor’s office magazine, or album liner notes—go for it.) The story is an extended and bizarre anecdote involving “Dick LaPalm”—who I assumed was a made-up character (that name!) until I looked on the internet (which wasn’t available to me in 1978 when this record came out). He was a real guy—Woody Herman’s publicist—and known as the “The Jazz Lobbyist.” Also evident is the address of the record company, “Century Records,” on Sunset Blvd in LA, so I looked that up, and I was not totally surprised, but happy, to see there’s a Mexican restaurant there, now. Rather see tacos than chain drugstores.

Smith “A Group Called Smith”

I bought this dirty old record because I never heard of “Smith” or their first LP, “A Group Called Smith” (1969) so now was my chance—and I like the cover—it’s all faded out, like it was sitting in someone’s window in the sun since 1969. The photo on the cover is the band (Smith), five young people in various degrees of hippie-look, standing in front a shack (could be the future home of the Unabomber, but there’s a lot of shacks out there). One guy is almost hidden in the shadows, one guy has cowboy hat and boots, a couple of mustaches, some white pants, one guy has lost his shoes, and a little closer to us, a beautiful and tough looking woman with a lot of hair and a paisley shirt. In other words, a band, c.1969. The woman is Gayle McCormick, and the best songs are the ones she sings—she’s got a voice that could start spontaneous brush fires out there in hippie-ville. I’m not going to type the other names, which all sound like fictional versions of famous people—but maybe they should have been the famous ones, seeing how this hot record is right where you want it to be. (My internet tells me they only released one more—even though they had some hits). The hit, here, being a cover of The Shirelles’ “Baby, It’s You”—and this is a great version. All the songs are covers, and include The Youngbloods’ “Let’s Get Together,” a couple of Rolling Stones numbers, including a heavy-duty version of “Let’s Spend the Night Together” that I prefer to the Stones. Their heavy, soulful version of The Zombies’ “Tell Them No” really comes to life. Also fine is “I’ll Hold Out My Hand” (The Clique song) rounds out the album on a high note. I could do some digging to try to find out what happened to the band, but I’m not going to just now. I could guess: internal stuff (it’s a band, after all). With two or three really good lead singers—but you only need one. Love triangle, quadrangle, etc. Lugging around that Hammond that weighs as much as a Volkswagen. Also, maybe, the pressure for bands, in this era, to write their own material, no matter how much they weren’t up to it (one of the reasons why we’re cursed with half a century of truckloads of mediocre “rock’n’roll music”) rather than cherry-picking the best songs out there and making them better, as with earlier traditions of popular music. But I’m just, as the man says, speculatin’ here.

Deodato “Prelude”

If you have ever seen Being There (1979) and can listen to this version of “Also Sprach Zarathustra” and not vividly relive that opening scene, you must be suffering from brain damage and maybe want to get that checked out. If you’ve never seen that movie, I’m envious of you, because you have a great movie experience ahead of you—though I suggest waiting, hopefully, for a theater screening of it somewhere (I say that about all great movies, though it might not be realistic). If you’ve never heard this particular Strauss piece of music—no, that’s not possible. Anyway, this is an excellent version, and takes up half of the first side. The rest of the record is just as good, too. Actually, I think I like the rest of the record, on a whole, better, since it’s not weighed down with Peter Sellers or space stations. Particularly “Carly & Carole,” a Deodato number—and really, all of it. There’s a little of everything—bossa nova, rock and funk, jazz and classical, flute and a lot of space. The entire side two sounds like the soundtrack for an imaginary TV show about me—or at least a heightened, idealized version of fictional me. It’s got a great album cover too—a fine use of glossy deep green—kind of timeless—it looks like it might have come out yesterday, but it was 1973—at which time there was an offer on the inside cover to buy a print of the cover photo for $19.95, which seems like a steal to me, even then. This record was huge, I guess, at the time, though I was too young for it. It’s on the CTI label, and as I’m not a jazz collector, haven’t seen it a lot, but I guess it’s the label of Creed Taylor who seems to have been a big connection of Brazilian music to the popular US jazz market—is that right? Also, I noticed it was recorded by Rudy Van Gelder, a very familiar name, but just what all did he do? I looked him up and, Danger Will Robinson, there’s another gaping rabbit-hole just waiting for you to stumble into.

I admit to knowing nothing about this Eumir Deodato, apart from what I’m reading right now—he’s Brazilian, bossa nova pianist, likes that electric piano sound—composer, producer, arranger— still alive—wow, it looks like he’s got about 40 records. I’m going to keep an eye out for them—probably some are hard to find. This one is probably the easy one. He was fairly young here—his picture is on the inside album cover—and I’d guess he didn’t have a lot of trouble with dating. But anyway, if any of the others are even half as good as this record, they’re worth picking up. It would be funny if he got to be a major obsession with me, and I keep getting Deodato records—then the name of this one would be frighteningly apt. Not really related—I used to drive a Honda Prelude from the Seventies—that was a good car. Prelude is like an introduction to something else, right? So naturally you think, this is a taste of what’s to come… so I thought it was an odd name for a car, like, Oh, you’re going to get a better car. And an odd name for an album—it makes you think this record is just part of a bigger work. Which I suppose, if you consider all his work to come, even if it didn’t sell as much as this one, is apt. I can’t say how his other work compares, but I’ll keep an eye out for those records.

Paul Horn “Visions”

I should have known who Paul Horn was, or maybe I did, kind of, but forgot or wasn’t thinking about it when I picked up this record. I was drawn to it because it looks like someone made the album cover while either on acid or in a therapeutic situation while being detained—whether it be by the authorities, caregivers, or cultists. Apologies to cover designer Glen Dias. That sounds too harsh—and it really is quite stunning and beautiful, but also kind of fucked up. It’s really pretty bizarre, and not slick, and if it wasn’t for the prominent “Epic” logo in the corner, I might think this record was totally homemade. That’s a compliment. There are liner notes on the back, by producer Henry Lewy—neatly typed, not scrawled in blood or anything, but laid out in the shape of a butterfly (or a bat? Or a concretion?—anyway, I can’t read it). There’s a reason that writing—which is just an already rather difficult-to-translate code of communication—is laid out with the end of each line continuing on a justified left margin. These liner notes are telling me they want to be admired as a design, but not read. Or maybe it was just someone’s—over there at Epic—bad design idea.

Another record from 1974—I seem to be drawn to that year without even trying. I’m not sure what to make of this record, actually, some of it sounds just right on, with a mellow groove, and some fine playing, and of course some really nice flute by Paul Horn. I could imagine putting this on quite regularly. But then it will get to a part that sounds just kind of insipid to me. It’s interesting, this record is all cover songs—David Batteau, Joan Baez, two by Joni Mitchell, three by David Crosby, and three by Stevie Wonder—but it sounds like a real unified band sound—so you kind of recognize the songs, but the style is Paul Horn (or his band on this record—I don’t know enough Paul Horn to say if this is a deviation). I’ll have to pay more attention to see whose songs translate best to this style. But right now, I’m having trouble paying attention to anything. Still can’t sleep, headache every day. The headaches are getting worse. Can’t concentrate. Where was I? Oh, yeah, I started to imagine putting this record on with a dinner guest over. Maybe I’ve just cooked some, I don’t know, some quinoa, kale horseshit. Borrow a corkscrew from the front desk and open the best bottle of red $12 will buy. If I started drinking again, I think the last thing I would be able tolerate is red wine. Like, for some reason, I really associate red wine with depression. Anyway, one song comes on, and it’s prefect mood music—and yeah, I guess I’m talking about a date. Then the next song comes on and creeps me out! I guess one song will make me feel like a very suave guy, kind of liquid, mind and body as one. And then the next one will make me feel like I’m in a commercial for a 401(k) Plan. It’s totally schizo, this record. I’ve heard movie soundtracks this schizo—in fact most movie soundtracks are, which is why I rarely listen to movie soundtrack records. Maybe I won’t write about this record now. But then, I might put it on a year from now and have the same exact reaction—so maybe I should write about it, get it over with, as a kind of warning, or an antidote… for my future self.

The T-Bones “No Matter What Shape (Your Stomach’s In)”

I bought this record in an antique store (cheap) awhile back, never having heard of it (since, I seem to run into it constantly, either mentioned, or physically) because I thought the title was so bizarre—I mean, that title is just kind of weird. And then the cover is broken up into 12 squares, four consisting of words, but the other eight are black and white photos of various stomachs. I never really sat down and catalogued them, but it’s a boxer, ballerina, miniskirt, belly dancer, jack hammerer, businessman, and chubby guy in a hurry. The first song is the title song, and then the second is a version of the Chiquita Banana commercial—and either there is some kind of well-timed scratches on this song, or there is someone playing that wooden fish you scratch with a stick, a little off, and directly into the recording process, without benefit of filtering or mixing. I mean, I really don’t know. There’s also versions of the hits, “Fever” and “Let’s Hang On” and a song called “What’s In The Bag, Goose.” All of it is really pretty cornball, kind of sounding like some studio musicians came in on a Saturday for a little under the table cash for one-take-on-the-side work. There isn’t really a band called The T-Bones, is there? I’m guessing the moonlighting musicians took their cash and drove a few blocks (I’d say walked, but this is LA) to Musso & Frank and had a few cocktails and T-Bone steaks, and thus the name.

But why make all that up when there is some definite liner notes (though micro-font) on the back, sandwiched in-between a larger version of the the two businessmen (doing God knows what) from the cover. Actually, all that it is about is how there are actually some television commercials that are so good—that people want to watch them. Funny, because I’m listening to this during the Super Bowl, and people have talked about (at least in the past) how they watch that dull and plodding game just to see the commercials. Personally, I find the commercials even less watchable than the boring game. But both infinity better than the halftime entertainment, which—I mean, if you were like tied to a chair with your eyes propped open with toothpicks—could be considered a humanitarian violation.